I'm really troubled..
After having live in this world for 20 years, I still don't know what I what.
I have no aims nor goals, just an empty soul. The feeling of novelty comes in quickly, but soon wears out.
I don't want to make the wrong choice again.

Throughout these 5 years, there are many ups and downs. Mostly happy ones, I would say. But let's not forget the bitterness.
I don't feel that it has made me a stronger person. I don't know how to see if this person is true or not. I'm just blinded by whatever that I needed the most that instant.

To speak the truth, I need someone who cares about me, gives in to me and pampers me to the max. It doesn't have to be expensive or luxury stuff. I'm particular about all the nitty gritty details. To me, small little things matter the most. I don't see that I'm such a complicated person. I just a person who needs freedom when I need it, care and concern when the moment is right. I can't stand people who are too over-sensitive and will be affected by what I do or say. Instead of making me care about you, it'll be a turn off to me. Which girl doesn't like surprises? It doesn't have to be costly, like I said. Excuses are just what people make to cover their asses? Too tired? Sleep early. No cash? Save or earn some? No time? Find time.

People do grow as they've been through several relationships. You will change for someone if she know she's the one, you can't lose her and if she's your heart and soul. I did. But it was just infatuation. Luckily, the nightmare lasted for 4 months. We've seen each other's ugly side, lying scheming ones. There is a point where all truths are unfolded and there's no ore turning back right? I can see that you don't trust me anymore. Everyday, you will only be asking about my whereabouts and being over-sensitive about guys. Calling me cheap doesn't make my heart feel for you too. I think I'm just a slut and you're just a cocky horny bastard.