Thoughts racing through my mind when i was bathing..
What kind of person am i?
I really don't know..

It's so frustrating..
and it happens EVERYTIME.

without fail..
butches, femmes, PLs..
when someone likes you, they expect something from you..
and when you don't give

Sometimes I just don't get you..
Say she's disgusting, then now be with her..
Say she's irritating, pissing people off, face like ghost
then?
Maybe that's her plus point la..

See your true colors alr.........
BYE BIG FUCK.

Friday-Saturday.

Chalet~ hahahahhahahahahhaahahahahhahahaha..
Went home after school, packed my stuffs and went to Habourfront meet Jean,
then took the monorail..
woah! first time taking it! it's super fast one lorr..

then walked to Sentosa Costa Sands..
Jamie(birthdaygirl), Jaselin and Hoi were already there..
the little cozy room with bigbig toilet!
then we prepared for the bbq while waiting for their friends to arrive.

PENGing the chicken wings and otah is super fun!
and watching the taiwan sausages explode is SUPARR CUTE! pop pop.

then the three of us walked to 7-11 to buy PANTYLINER..
bcoz someone needs it...***
then stole toiletpaper...........

then played in the room, occupied by 9 pple!
played SABOTEUR.. and DA DI till 5am..
haha..
then cut cake! and we smashed the cake onto Jamie's face!
Jaselin licked them off her face! heeee!
No cigarettes, no booze. just vitasoy and yakult.

NEXT DAY.
went to the beach played volleyball and soaked in the waters..
planned to swim across to the island opposite.. but didnt..
in the end, swam at the pool.. then played volleyball,
and hoi dragged me out of the pool,
causing me to be badly injured with broken wrist and a sprain ankle..
and a bloody head.
no lar.. only a tiny scratch..
in to the pool, then out, then in..
if life's like that.. it'll be wonderful.
the 7 of us can buy a bigggggie bungalow, then spend the rest of our lives like that!
played pool and arcade! with jamie, ivy and hoi!

tanned and tann and more tanning,
then we walk around Sentosa in bikinis and sports bras..
then to the monorail to pick Jean's gf, Calean up..
then walked back to enjoy our bbq..
but then it rained.. heavily some more..
so some of us slept in the room while some cook for us!
birthday girl was left to cook outside.. haha..
reached home at 0010

Went to esplanade yesterday to watch MAGICBOX..

the magic doesn't amaze me, but the dance and music, props and everything,

are totally flawless and show-stopping!

Walked around cityhall and bugis then homed..

Pictures, which i do not/rarely take.

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Days before!

Those msgs from her, calls from her..
how do you want me to react,
what do you want me to do?

you hide her from me and still want me to forgive you?
you rise your voice at me because of her..

if you did nothing, you don't have to hide anything.
hiding makes it worse..

and i really mean something to you, no matter how sick you are, you should give chase.
if you're so sick, then shldnt you go home after work..
even though i know you wanted to fetch me after work..

Between me and her, it's our stuffs..
Nothing to do with you cause it none of you business..
You can give comments but don't try to change anything, you're an outsider..
Do not, because of this, judge me and say that im fake
cause i do not need to inform or report to you what I have done or did.

I don't know why are you looking at things till it's so complicated.
You should think before saying even if you're straightforwarded.
You may be a person that does not hide your feelings,
but please think how others may feel..
You have been repeating and repeating the same stuffs over and over again,
aren't you bored?
I'm okay with it, but repeating things makes people pissed,

Go ahead and hate me for all you like,
but that's the way I am..
people don't have such issues with me last time,
Yeah, then you'll say that I say people never say me like this,
but it's only with you and hoiyan then it became like that..

you backstab me i backstab you last time,
you shoot me, i tell all your stuffs out.

you don't say you and her are all along like that,
but where on earth do friends, after backstabing, then make up and be friends again,
these are only surface friends, just for hanging out and stuffs..
once the there's a scar, it'll always be there to stay.

I miss my friends.. real friends..

those who cared about you
those who will not backstab you
those who you can spill out every worries and sorrows
those who will share your joy and happiness
those who will encourage you
those who will not joke about and laugh at you
those who will not laugh at your insecurities and flaws
those who will not say hurtful things to you
those who will think from your point of view and try to defend you

I miss wendy and cindy,
catching in your room dark at night with haopei and we were teasing your cousin while our parents were playing mahjong..

I miss liling,
remembered we watched some SHOWS together? and i borrowed yr rabbit and boy, did it stink like fuck!

I miss shuen yew, weiren, hongchow, isyandi, all the boys..
we hanged out with lydia and became THE clique!
haha

I miss lydia,
we were like the best of friends, pig out, hanged out, talk about boys, bitching, play dress up..

I miss ambert and mervin lim,
when we always fight in the bus but still good friends, and your crush towards lydia..

I miss michelle tang,
my first experience in africa with a girl, without realising I like girls.. even if I didnt like her.. we always quarrel then kiss and make up.

I miss carol, lianchoo,
we always laugh at big boobs..

I miss cherlyn,
the tuition at yr house, your brother, bitching around hhuh!

I miss valarie,
always the DA JIE.. sitting beside me poke me!

I miss collin and joel chengcheng,
your fantasies of some guys and laughing at joel..


I miss jieqin and meiting, Seven and joshua,
we always hung out in class and everything and working with meiting is nuts!!! haha..

I could have chosen them, but I chose the other, I could be great with them now, but now Im not, because of you.